Question: How can the curse, which was spoken over the relationship between man and wife in Genesis 3:16, be broken?
Answer: Greetings and thank you for your question. The curse spoken of in Genesis 3:16 is part of what God says to the woman, Eve. Before looking at this, it might be helpful to put this verse in its original context.
We know in Genesis 1, we have the creation account in which God, in the space of six days, created the heavens and the earth. The six days of creation record God's acts of bringing order to the formlessness and filling the void of the world. Genesis 2 gives us a "close up" of day 6 of creation in which God forms man out of the dust of the earth and breathes into his nostrils the "breath of life," so that man became a "living being." God places the man He has created into the garden He formed and gave him dominion over it. Later on, God puts the man to sleep and forms woman out of one of his ribs. Thus, together, the man and the woman were to rule over the creation which God had made by being fruitful and multiplying; filling the world with the image of God.
After making a covenant with the man to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, Satan, in the form of a serpent, enters into the garden. He tempts the woman to break the covenant, and the woman entices the man to do the same. When God is "walking" through the garden, He confronts the man and the woman. The man blames the woman and the woman blames the serpent (both are ultimately blaming God). At that point, God pronounces the covenant curses for violating the commandment. He first begins with the serpent (Genesis 3:14-15), and concealed within that curse, is a promise of the gospel (Genesis 3:15). Next, God turns to the woman, and after that the man (Genesis 3:16-19). So, the context of these curses is God carrying the stipulations of the covenant He made with Adam back in Genesis 2:15-17. He is bringing about the covenant curses in response to man's disobedience.
With that as a backdrop, your question focuses on the second half of the curse spoken to the woman in Genesis 3:16. Let's look at that verse:
[16] To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you." (Genesis 3:16 NKJV)
I highlighted the relevant part of the verse for our discussion. The important words in the verse are "desire" and "rule." The word "desire" translates the Hebrew word tᵊšûqâ. The word means "desire, longing, craving," and is used 3x in the OT: (1) Genesis 3:16; (2) Genesis 4:7; and (3) Song of Songs 7:10. Clearly the context of the Song of Songs passage is romantic desire, but is this the case with Genesis 3:16? I would argue "no," and my reasoning is based on Genesis 4:7:
[7] "If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it." (Genesis 4:7 NKJV)
This is God warning Cain against letting sin rule his heart. Sin desires to control Cain, but Cain should rule over it. I think this gives us the key to interpreting Genesis 3:16. Because of the curse upon the woman, she will desire to rule over her husband (i.e., usurp his God-given authority as the head of the wife). This is seen in how some other English translations render the Hebrew of Genesis 3:16.
- [16] Then he said to the woman, "I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16 NLT)
- [16] To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your labor pains; with pain you will give birth to children. You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you." (Genesis 3:16 NET)
The other word in Genesis 3:16 that we need to consider is the word "rule," which translates the Hebrew word māšal ("To rule, have dominion, reign"). We know from other places in Scripture that the husband is the head of his wife (1 Corinthians 11:3), so when God says to the woman in Genesis 3:16 that the man will "rule over you," it's not talking about headship, but rather abusive domination. Thus, as I like to say, in Genesis 3:16, the "battle of the sexes" was born. Women seek to usurp the headship of men and men seek to subjugate women.
So, how do we resolve this problem? The answer is found back in Genesis 3:15: the Seed of the woman who will crush the head of the serpent. The battle of the sexes is a sin problem at its root, and the solution to any sin problem is Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world (John 1:29). In other words, to cure the broken relationship between husband and wife, you need to save two sinners. We often like to speak of salvation consisting of three phases: (1) Justification, (2) Sanctification, and (3) Glorification. The way I like to describe these phases is as follows:
- Justification -- The penalty of sin has been paid.
- Sanctification -- The power of sin has been broken.
- Glorification -- The presence of sin has been removed.
So, when a husband and a wife become Christians (by repenting of their sin and turning in faith to Christ), all of their sins (past, present, and future) have been forgiven. Jesus Christ has taken their sin upon them and satisfied the wrath of God in their place. The process of sanctification is the Holy Spirit working in the lives of believers to enable them to put off sin and put on righteousness. This is where the real struggle begins. Sanctification is often a slow and painful process. But with the power of sin having been broken in the lives of believers, sanctification is possible. That's why the apostle Paul, in two places, encourages husbands and wives to embrace their God-given roles in marriage:
- [22] Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. [24] Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. [25] Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, [26] that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, [27] that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. [28] So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. [30] For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. (Ephesians 5:22-30 NKJV)
- [18] Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. [19] Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. (Colossians 3:18-19 NKJV)
Peter even encourages godly submission of a wife to an unbelieving husband as a means to witness to him of the saving power of God: [1] Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, (1 Peter 3:1 NKJV).
So, how is the curse broken? It's broken as both husband and wife submit to one another in the Lord. The wife submitting to her husband's godly leadership, and the husband loving his wife in a self-sacrificial manner. Will this be perfect in this lifetime? No. But we have the promise of Philippians 1:6 that the work God has begun in us, He will bring to completion on the day of Christ Jesus.
I hope this helps.
